Czovczov Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm black but not "both my parents are white" black.
←Rate | 06-19-2015 14:25 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 11:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
←Rate | 01-18-2015 06:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you sure we haven't met before? Because I feel like I hate you from somewhere.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 15:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Police! Open the door!" ... "Will you promise not to get mad?"
←Rate | 11-11-2011 01:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "Bieber fever" is when a Justin Bieber song comes on the radio and you start throwing up and stabbing yourself in he ear, then yes I have had Bieber fever before.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 13:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You haven't experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 07:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I cut my toenails, I leave them all over the floor just in case ants need to use them as swords when they are at war.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 01:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I carry a gun because I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 12:30 by Czovczov Comments (1)  


   messageicon Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 12:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is upset, apparently I'm breathing wrong again.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 14:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nike: Just Do It. Crocs: Just Don't.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 10:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the best way to prove to an ex that you don't think about them anymore is to write and produce a song saying so.
←Rate | 02-26-2012 07:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience.
←Rate | 11-24-2012 13:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pity those who feel the need to brag about themselves to get people's attention. I hate them more than the scratch on my Lamborghini.
←Rate | 07-12-2013 13:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how fast you run, michael myers will walk faster.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 12:52 by Czovczov Comments (1)  


   messageicon When I exercise at the gym, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 13:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 05:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  



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