Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   "Dating" is an anachronistic, nebulous means of defining a relationship. All it means is both parties are duping each other into some degree of permanency. Wait...that's marriage. I meant marriage.

   I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.

   NEWS FLASH If you bomb your home and kill all the roaches that live there .... in the roach world you are considered a terrorist.

   NEVER EXPECT A WOMAN TO PLAY HER PART, IF YOU STILL HAVE OTHER WOMEN AUDITIONING FOR HER ROLE'

   If your afraid to leave your teenage daughter home with your boyfriend then you may want to rethink ur relationship..

   I don't think allowing the mentally I'll people to obtain guns is making America great. Now I don't feel safe anymore.

   If you think about it, to come clean is not an option. . .

   Beyonce's twins will never have to work a day in their life. She should name one of them Lay-Z.

   YouTube: Domestically educating the public since 2005

   If Pictionary is where you draw pictures then what’s Dictionary.

   I'm gonna build a fence, how do I get my neighbors to pay for it? Asking for a friend

   I think EVERY elevator should have it's "2" button replaced with,, "Congratulations, You lazy @$$."

   No one is above the law, especially the president.

   Super Bowl: it's like WrestleMania, but boring.

   How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven't paid for a ticket from entering the game!" #NotMySuperBowl

   I'm pretty sure my guardian angel is in therapy for PTSD.

   Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.🎩

   Even Heaven has a Wall .... a Gate ..... and Extreme Vetting to get in .....

   Not very happy with my new microphone but I'll hang on to it in case I ever want to make a video that sounds like I'm at the bottom of a well shouting into an empty beer can.

   It's like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"