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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I think I'm going to buy one of those new 3D printers. Then I'll use it to print another 3D printer and then return the original printer to get my money back.
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01-14-2017 18:28
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Life is give and take; I give and you take, probably.
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01-14-2017 20:18
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The key to a good night's sleep is to stay up late and get almost no sleep, then the next night after that you'll get a good night's sleep.
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01-14-2017 20:48 by
Aaron
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It's much better to wake up and go pee than to go pee and wake up
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01-14-2017 22:45 by
FLUFF!!
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Who needs Ringling Bros. when we have the White House.
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01-15-2017 05:01
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Back in my day, #Recess was where they sent us out to a rusty death trap circus,, and now people can't eat gluten.
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01-15-2017 10:46 by
@UncleBSolomon
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Purina hung up on me. I suggested mouse flavored cat food.
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01-15-2017 11:58 by
Mickey
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Well .... My wife said she wanted a cat and I didn't, so we compromised and got a cat.
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01-15-2017 12:05
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I'm so old that I remember when Entertainers actually performed at a Presidential Inauguration without receiving death threats!
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01-15-2017 12:17
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Someone I know just had a great great grandchild. That kid comes from a long line of fucl<ers.
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01-15-2017 12:51 by
Mickey
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Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on
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01-15-2017 15:32
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Where can I go to find FBI Director Comey? Tune in this week to find out from media News!
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01-15-2017 19:39
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I am feeling lazier than the guy who designed the Japanese flag.
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01-15-2017 19:57 by
MrZ
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Be Yourself. Unless you are a jerk; in which case pretend to be someone else.
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01-15-2017 20:53
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IKEA employees are just the souls of previous shoppers that couldn't find the exit
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01-16-2017 01:01
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I haven’t seen the Democrats so angry since the Republicans took away their slaves
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01-16-2017 10:08
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My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make me breakfast.
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01-16-2017 12:46
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The reason Dolphins fans hate Patriots fans is because the Pats are superior in every way imaginable. Including year after year.
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01-16-2017 13:39 by
Gatoraaade...H20!
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The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
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01-16-2017 16:15
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Nice try, Tom Selleck, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived at Robin Masters Mansion for like eight years
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01-16-2017 16:18
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