Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Sarah Palin for President in 2012......The real end of the world.

   I spend so much time on Facebook that I forgot the internet has porn.

   Tea Party = Undercover White Supremacy

   So let me get this right, I cant legally smoke marajuana, yet I can go to my local gun store and buy a Semi Automatic Machine Gun, a couple of grenades and all the ammo I want? Now who's the one that's been smoking something here?

   Stubbing your toe is only a light switch away.

   If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.

   will most likely go through yet another hump day without doing what the name implies. :-(

   You know your mind is already on the weekend when someone at work tells you they're giving away shots, and you assume alcohol before flu.

   I woke up this morning and you were gone, then I thought... oh wait, it wasn't you.... never mind.

   all he's done in 2 yrs is take fancy trips and vacations on our dime!!

   Everybody poops, but not everyone washes their hands........ I'm just Saying.

   After the morning news...decided I didnt need to play R.E.M (It's the end of the world, as we know it ) every morning, like I have since November 2008.....Bahahahahaha

   was very excited until my wife informed me that is NOT why they call it Hump Day. Sure, honey. And I suppose that Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with mayonnaise?

   - Little boy writes to Santa: Please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: Ok, send me your mother.

   - I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"

   - If Adam and Eve would have been Chinese, they would have simply eaten the snake and left the apple alone!

   I eat the green crayon cuz the green one tastes the best!

   I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

   i just came back from a mile long walk in your shoes, and I still think youre a douchebag...

   I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.