Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I can't wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they're jerks

   Surgeon General warns taking a shot for every lie told in tonight's debate will result in acute alcohol poisoning.

   COPD is deadly and no one likes dealing with it, whether you are referring to Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or the Commission On Presidential Debates.

   Actually Billy, Mommy and Daddy watch these Debates to determine just how many months or years worth of canned goods and ammunition we should be storing in the cellar.

   Let the arguments begin! Oh, debate? We're calling this a debate? Ok, my bad.

   Liver: Is today your birthday? Me: No. I'm watching the Presidential Debate. Liver: Oh Ok, that makes sense. Please continue!!!

   It took him 5 seconds to talk about Mexico and China. *sigh*

   Of the 33,000 deleted emails, I think 32,000 of them were confirmation emails from Amazon for pant-suit purchases.

   It's ALLOWED not ALOUD you moron.

   I've never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.

   "The best kinda 'jobs' are under the table." - Bill Clinton

   The Cheshire Cat grin on Hillary's face during the debate was her surprise reaction to still being able to remain standing up for 90 minutes.

   Lester Holts hairline was the real loser of the debate.

   Lester Holts patience was the real loser of the debate

   It should be a rule that every political Facebook status or tweet should begin with - "First of all, I have absolutely no real idea what I'm talking about, this is just an uninformed opinion................."

   That odd moment when, during the Presidential Debates, one of the candidates takes a moment to promote their book.

   Happy 18th birthday Google. You can officially go to a titty bar G ( . ) ( . ) G L E👍

   What's the word for when someone goes 1-100km/h in 7.5 sec in a relationship only to jump out as you engage cruise control?

   there is a room in hell where they play an endless loop of every time you told someone you loved them and they didn't say it back

   she was only a wrestler's daughter but you should have seen her box.