Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Ran out of mix an hour ago....drinking this rum straight out of the bottle like a BOSS!!!
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Birthday posts on Facebook make all the pain go away.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sad people are fun to hang out with. They always have snacks around.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I left my dorm with my collar buttoned all the way up and returned with it buttoned four buttons down, YOU tell me how my night was....
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently 2016 is the year every amusement park ride was set to expire and fall apart mid-ride with people on it.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The More You Know: Jesus loved trees not cake, that's why on Dec 25th we have Christmas Trees.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you imagine anything more depressing than going to a petting zoo owned by MC Hammer.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Target never opens stores next to a bow and arrow shop.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother Teresa has been canonized. She's no longer Catholic fan fiction.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the future, everyone will have 15 minutes of blame.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I want my ashes scattered over a Starbucks WiFi router.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 16:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
←Rate | 09-05-2016 20:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is a big burden being the only one who can prevent forrest fires.
←Rate | 09-05-2016 20:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theoretically if China went to the moon and knocked over our flag what would we do about it
←Rate | 09-05-2016 21:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its a shame when BLM cant read their own signs
←Rate | 09-05-2016 23:24 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I just started a GoFundMe page to buy Michelle Obamas freedom
←Rate | 09-05-2016 23:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 01:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If every day is a gift, I want a refund for the crappy ones.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 08:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A heart felt "Thank You" for the birthday wishes Due to sanitary reasons, I will not and cannot accept any money that comes out of bras
←Rate | 09-06-2016 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chicago is already doing a lot to Make America Great Again
←Rate | 09-06-2016 15:29 Comments (0)  



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