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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Hopefully Kate Middleton knows that being decapitated for not producing a male heir is part of the deal.
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11-19-2010 14:11
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Got an email about seasonal jobs as a “package handler”. Had to check to make sure it was for UPS and not the TSA…
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11-19-2010 14:09 by
Bill
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I bought a book entitled, 'An idiot's guide to saving money'. It was only £39.99.
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11-19-2010 13:58 by
@clarkysj
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its ALOHA Friday no work till monday !!!
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11-19-2010 13:58
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Changing the face can change nothing. But facing the change can change everything.
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11-19-2010 13:45 by
fofo
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I'm stuck to the couch. I think I'm half man half sofa now. Just call me a mofa.
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11-19-2010 13:37 by
Marshall the Great
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Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
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11-19-2010 13:36 by
Marshall the Great
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I just googled the word ''anagram'' and it said, ''Did you mean: nag a ram?'' Well played, Google. Well played.
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11-19-2010 13:36 by
Lesley
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The worst thing about calling in sick today is not being able to post last night's rage fest pictures until this weekend.
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11-19-2010 13:35 by
Marshall the Great
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Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
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11-19-2010 13:35 by
Marshall the Great
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I hate whoever invented 6:30 am
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11-19-2010 13:34 by
Marshall the Great
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When people say "don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" you shouldn't answer with "Don't worry, I have plenty of other reasons to hate you."
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11-19-2010 13:33 by
Marshall the Great
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Relationships would be great if it wasn't for all those feelings.
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11-19-2010 13:32 by
Marshall the Great
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I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
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11-19-2010 13:32 by
Marshall the Great
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waiting for everyone else to post their birthday message on my buddy's wall so I can cut and paste the one I like best.
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11-19-2010 12:58 by
levon
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I'm wondering which is worse; the fact i'm is talking to the toaster or the fact that the toaster is talking back
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11-19-2010 12:22
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has a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell
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11-19-2010 12:19
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I'm having a Deja vu of Christmas posts
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11-19-2010 12:09
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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur.
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11-19-2010 11:48 by
mmZZ41n
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standing under the mistletoe but would rather be under the cameltoe!
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11-19-2010 11:45
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