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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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"Every Kiss Begins with K" and "Every Divorce Begins with D Bit@h"
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11-29-2010 22:30 by
Nazir
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I prefer to learn from someone elses mistakes.
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11-29-2010 22:14
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wants to go back in time and give the person just about to invent the "high five" a high five, then sit back and watch the universe implode
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11-29-2010 22:00
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I almost got to go skiing....but my husband got mad when he saw me spraying WD-40 on the bottom of his skis...
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11-29-2010 21:41 by
wendy rafferty
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my New Year's Resolution is to travel back in time and stop Jersey Shore from EVER being made.
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11-29-2010 21:36
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French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."
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11-29-2010 21:31 by
jdpower
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US Military is experimenting with robots. Part of new program, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Rise Up and Kill Us."
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11-29-2010 21:30 by
jdpower
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Am I the only one thats addicted to air?
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11-29-2010 21:29
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We can forgive Ireland's $70 billion debt. But we must never forgive them for Riverdance.
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11-29-2010 21:29 by
jdpower
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'cyber' Monday is awesome I got like 3 dates lined up....also I think there was a sale online
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11-29-2010 21:29 by
Marco
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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11-29-2010 21:28 by
jdpower
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A new study says humans are psychic, and I'm living proof of it. For example, I can clearly foresee a future where this study is debunked.
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11-29-2010 21:27 by
jdpower
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Car dealerships greatly over-estimate the allure of tents.
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11-29-2010 21:26 by
jdpower
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I'm thinking about buying an invisible box that they trap mimes in.
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11-29-2010 21:25 by
jdpower
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I never did use my illusion. Is it too late?
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11-29-2010 21:24 by
jdpower
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I hate when people put words in my mouth.. with the possible exceptions of “waffle” or “sandwich.”
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11-29-2010 21:23 by
jdpower
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If I joined Earth, Wind & Fire, I think the element I'd want to be is Surprise.
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11-29-2010 21:21 by
jdpower
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In retrospect, everything is foreshadowing.
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11-29-2010 21:20 by
jdpower
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I wanted to buy a keepsake to remind me of the great food this Thanksgiving, but I think this new chin will suffice.
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11-29-2010 21:19 by
jdpower
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These E*Trade babies probably annoy everyone in the bar when they play Golden Tee.
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11-29-2010 21:18 by
jdpower
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