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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Mick Jagger to be a father at 72. Names Keith Richards child's godfather to ensure the child is brought up right long after Mick's gone.
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07-15-2016 16:37
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Every room is a panic room if you suffer from anxiety.
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07-15-2016 16:37
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I grew up living Paycheck to Paycheck ...... NOW after a lot of very hard work and Perseverance ... I now live from Direct Deposit to Direct Deposit.
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07-15-2016 17:22
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God gave his own Archangels Weapons ... Because even God knew you don't fight Evil with tolerance and understanding.
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07-15-2016 18:50
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Military coup in Turkey. Terrorism in France. Massacre in Dallas. "Day Of Rage" across the US. Ghostbusters remake in theaters. I want to move....to a different planet.
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07-15-2016 18:59
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"Hit em with the Hein!!"
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07-15-2016 19:23
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What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
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07-15-2016 19:56 by
Snotty
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If you don't think that time traveling is possible,, just start an argument with your wife.
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07-15-2016 20:50 by
Snotty
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Hoping people are not gonna play Pokemon Go during the Summer Olympics games in Rio... looking for Zikaachu..
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07-15-2016 23:51
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Darwin would praise Pokemon Go for weeding out the weak links.
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07-16-2016 00:39
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BREAKING: Chris Christie endorses Hillary Clinton.
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07-16-2016 00:40
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Does anyone else think "Master of Fine Arts" sounds sarcastic?
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07-16-2016 00:43
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I went to to gym today. Next week I'm going to get out of my car....
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07-16-2016 00:44
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Picture a gang of criminals scanning an area for Pokemon before deciding to dump a body.
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07-16-2016 00:46
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Always wonder how many drug users have heated heroin in the spoon I'm about to use to eat my cereal, in this motel room.
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07-16-2016 00:48
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I'm self-employed and I can't believe my boss touches me inappropriately so often.
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07-16-2016 00:50
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You're part of the problem if you post a click bait article on Facebook and don't give the ending forcing me to have to click it.
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07-16-2016 00:52
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Aladdin is my favorite story about how anything is possible if you find a magical genie that grants wishes.
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07-16-2016 00:54
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Just when you think the world’s gone crazy you find out Mick Jagger knocked up his 29-year-old girlfriend and everything makes sense again.
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07-16-2016 00:55
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Forget a wall, we should just put caution tape around the borders of America.
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07-16-2016 00:57
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