Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Grandma told me good girls always eat a banana with a knife and folk

   Screw the government, let's all smoke weed this weekend

   Lest we not forget that Nicola Cage won an Academy award for best actor in a leading role for his role in the film Leaving Las Vegas in 1995.

   If you don't see Snowden as a hero please unfriend me,. Save me the trouble of finding out later that your just effin sheep of the media.

   I don't trust stairs. They always look like they're up to something.

   I don't trust the sun. Why can't we look directly at it? What is it hiding?

   The garbage man is late. I think he's been cheating on me with some other piece of trash.

   let's be honest .... nothing is as good as 90's nostalgia, Rocko's Modern Life over Sanjay and Craig any day.

   I finally found my girlfriends G spot.. Turns out her sister had it .

   ..... Unfortunately in the real world an organization urging to SAVE Humanity ....... Sadly .... is almost always a front for a politically motivated group seeking to rule it.

   I wish getting rich was just as easy as getting fat.

   Teen Slang Update: "Bye, Felicia" has been abbreviated to "Peace, Feleesh".

   You can sponsor a child in need for the cost of a cup of coffee. I wanna help, but they really shouldn't be giving coffee to kids.

   Thanks to Brexit, British prostitutes are now a great deal pound for pound.

   Bad News: Britain votes to leave Europe. Worst News: Mississippi says they're staying in America.

   Scotland's in the middle of a couple's breakup and trying to figure out who they're still supposed to be friends with.

   Should you tell your neighbor that leaving their six porch lights on all day makes their Prius rather redundant?

   Brexit has inspired my wife to demand a sexit.

   Googling to find out what you just voted for....should be the last resort.

   Fan theory suggest Finding Dory takes place in the same universe as Finding Nemo.