When he says "We could be friends".. I feel like replying " We COULD be rare specimen of an exotic breed of dancing african elephants, But we are not... Atleast, I'M not !!
I hate to break it to you, fatty, but shaving and leaving just a line of facial hair along your jaw line is not going to make your double chin disappear, it'll make you look even fatter.
Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way.