Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   To everyone who take time to "Like" my status the very minute I post my status, Get a life and get off the facebook

   Don't you just hate how you finally get Christmas all put away and it's already time to put up the Martin Luther King decorations??...?

   If my fridge smells like fish, but I don't have any fish in it...that's a problem, right?

   it bad that I just lit the cigarette of the pregnant woman I just bought a drink for?

   A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

   blinded by the light. Revved up like a douche, another runner in the night.

   I called a company and heard "Don't fear the Reaper" while I was on hold. At first it seemed cool, but do I really want Life Insurance from a company that plays that?!?! ;-)

   Gathering Birds to throw at you!

   I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

   Cats will be the hardest zombies to kill, with their -9 lives and all.

   Apparently society isn't sympathetic about testicular cancer awareness…You check yourself in one mirror at the mall, and you go from health conscious, to sexual predator in a heartbeat...(more in comments)

   I wonder how many tattoos you can get for the Sugar Bowl trophy...

   Relax everyone...My pink flamingo is still standing in my front yard...I think it's over now.

   To the people on FB who creep on the reg, yet never post anything and never comment on anything.. I know your out there, and I know your reading this..

   Pshh.. Nowadays I dont even trust people that dont have a FB

   Best bumper sticker ever. Get off your phone and concentrate on being a sh@tty driver.

   I'm so good at sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed

   pretty sure that mother nature has been taken over by an evil step-mother!!!

   Remember kids...skinny girls freeze to death faster!

   January is my least favorite month. So...no Dr. Pepper chaser with the bourbon. Nuff said. New Years resolutions back in the drawer. Whew, I thought I was gonna have to do a third sit-up. Praise the Lord and hand me that ice bucket.