Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Life is a waste of time, Time is a waste of life. So, get wasted all the time and have the time of ur life ;)
←Rate | 01-10-2011 05:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to Lowe's with a bucket of Legos and asked the manager if we could build something together. She threw me out.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 03:32 by will Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how a fine is justified as a predetermined tax for doing something wrong, and yet taxation is accepted as a fine for doing well?
←Rate | 01-10-2011 02:16 by Charles323 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like kicking you in the face....but then again WHY should I help improve your looks?
←Rate | 01-10-2011 02:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it did half the time.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Today's word of the day is "Legs". Now let's go back to my place and spread the word.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon newest kill off of wildlife to hit the news. 2.5 million eagles fans just dropped outta the playoffs
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Take them all down skip the dam song, drink em all at once with a beer bong.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:31 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink... But if you must lie, lie in the arms of you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death., and if you must drink, drink in the moments that takes your breath away....
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:11 by Sam K Comments (3)  


   messageicon I've met many believers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 23:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. Guess she heard her killer coming.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 23:33 by Valerie Comments (1)  


   messageicon So the Packers beat the Eagles. They might beat the Falcons. Then possibly the Seahawks and then meet the Ravens in the SuperBowl... Wow! All those teams would be in a Fowl mood !
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:37 by @Footer Comments (1)  


   messageicon Being a doctor who performs circumsion, I took all the foreskin tips to a taxadermist who made me a wallet. Great thing if you rub it a certain way it turns into a suitcase.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says it is so cold outside, that even the guy at the gas station had a towel on his head!
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:06 by Rich McC Comments (0)  


   messageicon says its so cold today, that I just seen on the news that the fire department rushed to the strip club to pry 2 ladies from a pole.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:05 by Rich McC Comments (0)  


   messageicon We can put a man on the moon. Create a device the cooks food in minutes if not seconds. We have GPS and smart phones. But we can't even cure the common cold??
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:04 by Rich Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking at photos and seeing how much weight I've gained which has inspired me to make a resolution for 2011: NO MORE PHOTOS!
←Rate | 01-09-2011 21:00 by c Comments (0)  


   messageicon Allergy alert: This status may contain peanuts.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 20:57 by Charles323 Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget to put your pants back on one time coming out of the fitting room at walmart and suddenly you're a "weirdo" who is no longer "welcome" in the store
←Rate | 01-09-2011 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I expected the Eagles to loss. All the birds are dying anyway...makes perfect sense.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 19:50 Comments (0)  



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