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   messageicon Hillary Clinton made barking noices during yesterday's rally. I bet she is trying to get the dog vote now.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 14:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I'm basically a golden retriever.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can I get 10,000 "Likes" for God is awesome?
←Rate | 02-16-2016 15:30 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I've got two tickets to Crazy Town. Who wants one?
←Rate | 02-16-2016 15:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are a million different ways to say "I Love You": "Put your seat belt on", "Watch your step", "Did you eat?", "Get some rest". You just have to listen.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's a pedicure, why are there still pedophiles?
←Rate | 02-16-2016 17:05 by jkmen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 17:06 by jkmen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Carl Grimes could be the new mascot for the Oakland Raiders
←Rate | 02-16-2016 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one of my friends leave I say "Stay Gold Ponyboy" and they just stare at me because they don't have no idea what I'm talking about.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation's children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 20:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said "Do the job right the first time and you'll never have to do it again"....never shoveled a Canadian driveway.
←Rate | 02-16-2016 20:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon National Drink Wine Day is February 18th....why is this not a stat holiday?
←Rate | 02-17-2016 01:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How does Kanye West need a billion dollars for ideas? Ben Franklin discovered electricity with a kite.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a grub buddy. Kinda like a f*ck buddy, except when I hit you at 2 am you better be ready to stuff your face with me.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say "Pumpkin Spice Latte" in the mirror 3 times....a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite drinks at Starbucks.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee Shop Sign: Unattended children will be given double espressos and made wild promises about what Santa is bringing them.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are teenagers out there that are having unprotected sex but have indestructable cases for their phones. Let that sink in for a moment....
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Condom Slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:46 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just shot my first turkey today....it sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no better karate instructor, than a spider web in your face.
←Rate | 02-17-2016 03:55 Comments (0)  



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