Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Quite certain that my cat, as he lies here “purring” beside me, is plotting ways to kill me in my sleep. Or at least a clever plot that will ultimately end up in me finding a turd in my shoe in the morning.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 00:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Employer, I have worked insane amounts of hours for you; shed blood; even went through a divorce because of you. Is it too much to ask for some decent toilet paper up in here?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 00:08 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Steven Tyler remind you a Jack Sparrow or am I crazy?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 23:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to inclimte weather, all shenanigans are cancelled until further notice
←Rate | 02-02-2011 23:10 by Rachael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop takin pics with yo Income TAX/Grant Money from school. You Broke
←Rate | 02-02-2011 22:25 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard to find information without paying for it? but I can google Kevin Bacon, Justin Bieber and that OctoMom for free?!? AH
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:56 by Rachael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:46 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In case you havn't been outside or looked at any of your 376 other friends status's... I'm stating the obvious, it's cold.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your a Packer fan when you consider your season a success by beating the 'Bears' and not by rings on your fingers
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:06 by migasjoe Comments (1)  


   messageicon you know your a Packer Fan when the bluebook value of your truck goes up and
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:04 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Steelers have enough Rings to become a Planet!!!
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:03 by migasjoe Comments (1)  


   messageicon ...can't believe how less sophisticated and superstitious the people of Egypt seem like on tv. I mean it's ridiculous!! Hey, did anyone see whether the ground hog saw his shadow today??....
←Rate | 02-02-2011 20:57 by dfotravels Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a new puppy! I named him Go away, poor little guy is going to be so confused everytime I call him.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 20:44 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading other statuses right now, but your status is important to me. Please stay online and your status will be read in the order it was received. Approximate wait time is 17 mins.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 20:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just built a time machine, it's taken me days and heaps of uncooked macaroni. I wrote this tomorrow!
←Rate | 02-02-2011 19:54 by isay Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stalking is such a strong word....i perfer the term surveillance expert
←Rate | 02-02-2011 19:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon girls are like phones. we love to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!!
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard that Obama peeked his head out of the White House and saw his shadow....well, I guess it's six more years of recession...
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:27 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates snow blowing.... it gives me an ice cream headache.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  



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