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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he'd have put diamonds on the floor.
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02-10-2011 14:32
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Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!
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02-10-2011 14:31
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not laughing at you--I'm laughing near you. And pointing. At you.
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02-10-2011 14:30
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I have come to the conclusion that my adult life was contrived by a stoned teenager.
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02-10-2011 14:25
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If you're happy and you know it, share your meds
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02-10-2011 14:24
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Wow! I just had a multiple sarcasm...
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02-10-2011 14:24
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There will never be true equality until men have to wear jockey shorts with under-wires that lift and separate.
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02-10-2011 14:24
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Men would cuddle more often if women smelled like bacon
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02-10-2011 14:23
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If I ever get a firm grip on reality I'm gonna choke the sh*t out of it!
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02-10-2011 14:22
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So you're telling me that a house fell on your sister, and the only thing you care about is her shoes?
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02-10-2011 14:21
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i know its hump day but get off my leg.
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02-10-2011 14:19
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comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable
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02-10-2011 14:18
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They say weed kills brain cells. I'm down to my last two. One is on life support and the other one is trying to pull the plug.
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02-10-2011 14:17
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Ignorance is not bliss. It's just a fancy word for stupid.
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02-10-2011 14:16
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Where is this "chill pill" they talk about and how do I get like 5?
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02-10-2011 14:15
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I'm really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
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02-10-2011 14:14
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I never text while I'm driving. I'm too busy putting on my makeup.
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02-10-2011 14:13
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Will he stay or will he go? Seems like President Mubarak must have the same publicist as Carmelo Anthony...
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02-10-2011 14:08
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you ever had that one friend that you don't like to eat with, cause they chew their food like their mad at it?!?
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02-10-2011 14:07 by
M.A.C.
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Remember that good decisions rarely make for good stories.
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02-10-2011 13:50
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