Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5114 of 5576

   messageicon note to self, next time at the sperm bank.. when offered 'adult materials', don't give a quick wink to the nurse and say "no thanks, I've got a great imagination".
←Rate | 02-11-2011 01:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon clothes dont make the man, but he gets no respect without them
←Rate | 02-11-2011 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend: Who r you going for in the Superbowl? Me: Um, the Superbowl was last weekend. Friend: Ya, but isn't there several? Me: No dude, there's only one.....i think your thinking of baseball...
←Rate | 02-11-2011 00:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Mubarak to remain in office, "I will step down when the Cleveland Cavaliers win a game." More details coming soon.......
←Rate | 02-11-2011 00:18 by Bill Comments (1)  


   messageicon While I'm Gone....Just smile it's the 2nd Best thing you can do with your Lips....
←Rate | 02-10-2011 23:36 by Eric Comments (0)  


   messageicon We've gotten too much snow lately. Everywhere outside it looks whiter than the audience at a Toby Keith concert!
←Rate | 02-10-2011 23:21 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon not pleased with the results of Googling myself.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 22:02 by Marshall the Wuss Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was driving around today and the sun was out and the snow is melting so I think it's time to take your Christmas decorations down now.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting a tattoo of Tattoo from Fantasy Island.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 19:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people need to learn that the right to remain silent pertains to posting on Facebook too.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 19:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when making a mix tape for your girlfriend was the perfect Valentine's gift.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 19:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you like apples? You do? Well....shut up.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon been to the same shop every week for the last year just to buy Milk. Now I have 52 copies and I wouldn't even call myself a Sean Penn fan.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 18:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mubarak to remain in office: " I will step down when the Cleaveland Cavaliers win a game"
←Rate | 02-10-2011 18:15 by Imho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would love to see everything, anyone has ever written to me, but backspaced before sending.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a commercial for a new show called The Unpoppables...one of the guys in the show said: "There is a thin layer of rubber between success and failure." That should be the new slogan for MTV's 16 and Pregnant...
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy walking through two feet of snow in sub-zero temperatures to get to the florist. He must have really f-cked up.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the kids wander around the house I can just see them thinking, "what can I f*ck up?"
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it all said and done there will be nothing left to say or do.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to know... when someone says they are going to kick your ass, why do they punch you in the face?
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:39 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left