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at the next awards' show, Lady Gaga will begin her performance by being squeezed from a cow's udders 
This valentines day is going to suck(period)
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
now accepting applications for a Valentine...Requirements as follows : 1) Pulse 2) Female...as the day progresses, requirement #1 may become negotiable...
If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
Just to be different, I cry about being single on the 4th of July, and celebrate Valentine's Day with explosives.
Happy "Romantically Challenged" Day.
on this Valentine's Day...Please don't make me choose between you and porn...
do you th ink its odd for a guy to send a girl digital flowers?
Rj is wondering...Where is Cupid's evil step brother Stupid?? who uses alcohol instead of arrows And causes one night stands?
After an evening of being snubbed at the Grammys, Justin Bieber reportedly spent the entire day in his Snuggie, crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Humilated, Bieber was quoted as saying "I regret the day I was ever hatched"
R lass said she dint want much for valentines day, she just wanted some chocolates and a few little surprises. She wasnt that impressed when I turned up with 3 kinder eggs! :-/
Valentine's Day : Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is....
Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!
What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.
Girls gain weight because their brains can't hold all the info so it spreads to other places. Therefore she's not fat, she's a genius.
To all the women I have slept with, I have herpes....and you thought I'd forget you on Valentine's Day
Happy Mushy-Card-Nasty-Candy-in-a-Heart-Shaped-Box-Big-Balloon-That-Barely-Fits-in-Your-Car-And-You-Can't-See-to-Back-Up-$75-Rose s-That-Can-be-Bought-Tomorrow-for-$20-but-Must-be-Sent-to-"Prove"-Your-Love-Stand-In-Line-for-Two-Hours-to-Eat Day. <HATE
Chocolate..✔,.Strawberries..✔,.Whipped Cream..✔,....now just need my Valentine!!
I wonder if Hugh Hefners new fiancé bought him a bag of prunes and a wheel chair for Valentine's day?
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