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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I guess the white guy forgot he wasn’t home and behind his keyboard when he called that black judge the N word.
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01-06-2016 12:22
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Bill Cosby's lawyer says Cosby is legally blind, that might explain the sweaters & why he can't see his wedding ring.
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01-06-2016 12:27 by
@gnarleycharley
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Why can't all cable and satellite companies put the tv stations on the same damn channel??
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01-06-2016 13:39
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To all the people who wanted change in 2008-This November time's up
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01-06-2016 14:27
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My wife's doctor called and I had to take a message. He said her Pabst Beer came back negative. What the hell is he talking about?
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01-06-2016 18:05
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The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird $h!t too.
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01-06-2016 20:11
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I heard Steve Harvey is a presenter at the Oscars this year, maybe Leonardo Dicaprio can win one for a few minutes.
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01-07-2016 03:23
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I have been getting a lot of canned meat ads in my emails. Why isn't it going into my spam folder?
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01-07-2016 07:19
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It is so cold out my wife is looking forward to her next hot flash.
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01-07-2016 07:27
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I am asking you out for dinner and you tell me you have a boyfriend. Is he hungry too?
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01-07-2016 09:45
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These heated seat feels like I'm sh*t*ng my pants! Sir: This car doesn't have heated seats. Does it have napkins?
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01-07-2016 10:41
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This lady called the cops on me cause she opened her closet and I handed her a blouse. And y'all wonder why chivalry is dead?
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01-07-2016 13:19 by
Scmc1st
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When I undress you with my eyes I immediately redress you with my eyes because it's January and very cold out.. and I have very considerate eyes.
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01-07-2016 13:34
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"Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.
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01-07-2016 21:47 by
Aaron
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I finally got a job at the.bakery because I kneaded the dough.
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01-07-2016 22:10
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Counting to ten when someone makes you angry works much better if you're counting punches.
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01-08-2016 08:53
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A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth
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01-08-2016 09:24 by
JCW
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My future wife is probably lying in bed right now texting her man about how they’re gonna be together forever. I think not, see you in two years babe
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01-08-2016 12:23 by
@1_Jack_Jacko
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Do you have to go to the DMV to register as a sex offender or can you do it online? Asking for 14 friends and an uncle.
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01-08-2016 13:26
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Found some old Playboys in the attic from the 70's, maybe they shpuld have named the magazine "Hair Club for Men".
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01-08-2016 13:28
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