Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Valentine's Day : Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is....
←Rate | 02-14-2011 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:52 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:52 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls gain weight because their brains can't hold all the info so it spreads to other places. Therefore she's not fat, she's a genius.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:45 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the women I have slept with, I have herpes....and you thought I'd forget you on Valentine's Day
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:15 by Derek Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Mushy-Card-Nasty-Candy-in-a-Heart-Shaped-Box-Big-Balloon-That-Barely-Fits-in-Your-Car-And-You-Can't-See-to-Back-Up-$75-Rose s-That-Can-be-Bought-Tomorrow-for-$20-but-Must-be-Sent-to-"Prove"-Your-Love-Stand-In-Line-for-Two-Hours-to-Eat Day. <HATE
←Rate | 02-14-2011 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chocolate..✔,.Strawberries..✔,.Whipped Cream..✔,....now just need my Valentine!!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 10:35 by BFF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Hugh Hefners new fiancé bought him a bag of prunes and a wheel chair for Valentine's day?
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is national VD awareness day, please wish all of your single friends a warm and happy VD.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon She said all she wanted for valentines day was a little kiss, man is she going to be shocked when she sees the midget drinking Dr. Deeper in our living room!!!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:21 by Josh Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when a MIX tape off the radio (while the DJ wasn't talking) was the best Valentine EVER!!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:17 by A.Hess Comments (0)  


   messageicon take today to remember those that died in the St. Valentine's Day Massacre in 1929.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:11 by Judge Coe Comments (0)  


   messageicon afraid to cook and eat eggs now. What if Lady Gaga is in one of them? She might get upset and beat me up.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:04 by Maddie Saints Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a heart on...you know, so nobody tries to pinch me today...
←Rate | 02-14-2011 09:00 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you went to High School with your girlfriend's grandfather, you might be a Hugh Heffner.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon None of the other vitamins compare to the first, fluffy, white one on the top.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Q) Reproduceing bees are called queens. What are the none reproduceing bees called? (a) Lesbees
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:25 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once a good one is taken, one thinks they can do better and usually end up with les.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in my doctors office the other day. he said "One last thing, you really have to stop eating so many eggs." I said "Is my cholestoral too high?" Then the doctor said " No, but you farted in the waiting room and darn near killed everyubody.'
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:21 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is never greener on the other side, especially IF you take good care of your own lawn and take time to appreciate it!!!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 07:55 Comments (0)  



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