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   messageicon For Valentine's day, my husband didn't go to Jared. He went to work. I think that the steady paycheck says "I love you" much better than a shiny rock could.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 20:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today may be Valentines day, but men will get their revenge in exactly one month....March 14th, look it up.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 20:10 by TheOne Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza will you be my valentine?
←Rate | 02-14-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First Lady Gaga shows up at the VMAs covered in meat. Then arrives at the Grammys in an egg. She's only about two red carpets away from being a Denny's Grand Slam.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 19:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
←Rate | 02-14-2011 19:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That today a small kid dressed in diapers with a bow and arrow came knocking on my door and I turned the hose on him.... come to think about it I might be confusing Halloween with Valentine's Day!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:52 by ARM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn't hear me call shotgun.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:26 by Justinjrouser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is a man's idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:20 by Justinjrouser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jail: the government's way of sending you to your room
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:15 by Justinjrouser Comments (0)  


   messageicon the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentines. Rymes with Pointless.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 18:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 1977 Princess Leia asked Obi Wan for help...on 2011, she asked Jenny Craig
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:53 by Alastor Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, some poems rhyme, others don't
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:51 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do I keep seeing the word "surprised" on statuses? Really! Today you were surprised to get candy and flowers at work from your bf, gimme a break. Tattoo nieve on your forehead please.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon when I got pulled over, the cop said he clocked me doing 75 mph in 55 mph zone. I asked "WHERE D'YA GET THAT APP?"
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:49 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:30 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Valentines day I am actually ❒ Single ❒ Taken ❒ Ball'in ❒ Pimp'n ✔ Hungry for Chocolate
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the only day Women can relate to condoms, their either on you or in your wallet !
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got an email asking me if I wanted to "be larger so I could please my lady." Heck no! She's the one who put me on this diet to begin with!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:41 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called in sick for work today. It was a sunday, my boss says "you dont work today" I paused and said "oh..ill call you tomorrow than"
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:24 Comments (0)  



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