Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5 of 5131

   messageicon It's better to be kissed by a fool than to be fooled by a kiss.
←Rate | 12-15-2017 13:59 by @BlackieBino1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the first good sized snow fall of the season and honestly the weather on TV is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a two.
←Rate | 12-24-2017 18:21 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out that I saw a dog frozen to a fire hydrant
←Rate | 01-02-2018 02:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people that are trying to make the world worse never take a day off, why should I? Light up the darkness.
←Rate | 01-03-2018 05:54 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera
←Rate | 12-16-2017 06:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People don't want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor obviously doesn't watch porn. She called me over here an hour ago to fix her sink and I'm still fixing the sink.
←Rate | 11-05-2017 06:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let's just keep it in the carton, ok?
←Rate | 01-02-2018 19:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure who will be performing at the Super Bowl half-time this season but I am already furious about it
←Rate | 09-26-2017 08:59 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love dieting I'm actually on 4 diets: Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.
←Rate | 07-10-2017 17:03 by Aerotim Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear. After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.
←Rate | 10-31-2017 06:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Costco: Where you can go broke saving money...
←Rate | 01-08-2018 09:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Much as I like Guardians of the Galaxy, in real life, I don't think it's a good idea to give a gun to a raccoon.
←Rate | 05-29-2017 07:24 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon when you drop your iphone, remember that's gravity that makes the apple fall
←Rate | 07-30-2017 22:52 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon More bad news for Millennials. Hangovers hurt worse the older you get...
←Rate | 08-22-2017 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor thinks I'm paranoid. He didn't say it, but I knew that's what he was thinking
←Rate | 09-16-2017 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The thing that truly makes amusement park rides scary is that you are entrusting your life to a teenager that is earning minimum wage to make sure you are securely fastened into your seat.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."
←Rate | 10-13-2017 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5000 years of eating bread and now all of a sudden everyone's allergic to gluten? WTF?
←Rate | 08-02-2017 07:45 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
←Rate | 10-12-2017 07:40 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left