Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon ‎45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:02 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before the internet I used to like people.
←Rate | 09-25-2014 11:57 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?
←Rate | 02-24-2010 16:53 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Very little scares me. So does very big.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 20:20 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people with hundreds of friends on FB are spending their time on FB and not with one of them instead.
←Rate | 02-21-2010 08:29 by nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great taco from Taco bell today......with the spoon of meat and all the lettuce I was not sure if it was for eating or smoking!
←Rate | 11-02-2010 21:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!
←Rate | 03-23-2010 09:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to date a girl with an accent. Well....maybe just a really slow girl that sounds like she has an accent. I'm not picky:)
←Rate | 09-22-2010 17:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think of them as gingers. Think of them as sweet potato people.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I select "Next day delivery" for an online purchase, I imagine all these people running around yelling, "Code Red. Code Red!!" and scurrying like crazy.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:42 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come some people always think they have to have the last text?
←Rate | 11-18-2010 17:47 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 09:37 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man is it cold outside...just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the padded bra...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took my Beanie Baby collection to a Pawn Shop today. Really thought they'd be worth a lot more. Back in the safe they go.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 22:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a lady at Walmart wearing those "shape up" shoes. Thought to myself, "Honey....there ain't no shaping that thing up."
←Rate | 03-23-2011 22:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life would be better if squirrels liked sitting on our shoulders. You can’t be sad with a cool squirrel friend on your shoulder.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 18:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever try to take a Barbie out of it's packaging??? What, is she going to escape? Is she into bondage?
←Rate | 07-12-2010 20:58 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they put slow cashiers on the speedy checkouts?
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Working on the art of the classic "Farmer Blow" technique. Figure I can save a lot of money on tissues with allergy season here.
←Rate | 04-03-2010 07:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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