Gil Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It costs you nothing to pay someone a compliment. Be nice to someone today. Kindness is contagious.
←Rate | 08-15-2016 12:30 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you heard about the upcoming vegetarian Zombie apocalypse? They only eat grains....
←Rate | 08-22-2012 21:55 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now accepting applications for FWB. Several positions open. Please email me photos and resume.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 18:38 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Rudolph commits suicide after Santa upgrades to GPS
←Rate | 12-23-2010 14:48 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Thanks FIFA for making me look like a boy scout!" - Tom Brady
←Rate | 06-04-2015 16:59 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Protester Fail: Every Guy Fawkes mask you buy to show your support sends a royallty to Time Warner, one of the largest corporations in America.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:19 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon 2 large ships stuck in ice during Antarctic summer. One of them an icebreaker. Al Gore could not be reached for comment.
←Rate | 12-28-2013 18:32 by gil Comments (1)  

   messageicon "I'd like to thank my celebrity life-coaches Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, & Nick Nolte for the overwhelming positive effect they've had on my recent life."
←Rate | 08-05-2011 12:08 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now I know why NASCAR fans don't watch the Olympics....Watching swimming is 10X slower than running and 1000X slower than automobile racing.
←Rate | 08-09-2016 18:50 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP Andrew Breitbart..... Ccaine overdose or heart attack hours before releasing Obama college partying video tapes.....yea right! BS
←Rate | 03-02-2012 17:12 by GIL Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ultimate goal in life is to someday sing 800-CASH-NOW in a JD Wentworth commercial.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 13:54 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friends call me "Cruiser", because I like fast cars, fast women.....and the back seat of police cars.
←Rate | 02-13-2014 15:42 by GIL Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you never climbed across the living room furniture as a child, pretending the floor was made out of lava, or built a fort out of cushions and blankets, you didn't have a real childhood.
←Rate | 12-23-2017 12:19 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon France shouldchange the color of it's flag to match it's football/soccer team.....all-white
←Rate | 06-23-2012 15:10 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon 90% of the prison poulation believes in God. 90% of The Academy of Sciences are atheists. Personally, I'd rather have the guy in the white lab coat as a bunk mate
←Rate | 04-21-2011 21:56 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon When is a good time to mention St Patrick wasn't Irish, he was the son of slave-owning Roman nobility born in England and his color wasn't green, it was blue? Not today then?
←Rate | 03-17-2013 14:54 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today is national drug take back day. For your convenience, I will be placing a collection basket outside my front door.
←Rate | 04-28-2018 09:14 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your chances of becoming an Olympic Athlete are less than 1 in 10,000. Think about that for just a second. All Olympians should be proud of just having the opportunity to participate.
←Rate | 08-12-2012 08:56 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon more kisses begin with Budweiser or good weed than Kay
←Rate | 04-23-2011 20:44 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wonder Woman an icon representing male objectification or female empowerment?
←Rate | 07-01-2017 23:35 by Gil Comments (0)  


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