Czovczov Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There is a man eating fries with a fork and airport security is doing nothing about it.
←Rate | 04-30-2014 13:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, I'll admit it. I just don't have the stamina required by most women. I mean, who can listen to a story for 40 minutes?
←Rate | 04-17-2013 09:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby, if you are reading this. Can you please bring me a beer?
←Rate | 10-07-2012 10:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell by the way you give me instructions that you've dealt with a lot of dumb people before me.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 09:17 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon For 20 yrs Jay-Z referred to other men's daughters as b!tches & hoes then decides his own daughter Princess Baby Jesus is exempt from the game!
←Rate | 01-14-2012 02:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm straight, but I went to a gay bar last night. Guys bought me drinks even though they had no chance. So, I get it ladies, I get it.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 00:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 14:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh for god sake, just fall in love with me already so I can stop acting normal.
←Rate | 09-07-2012 14:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being too nice to people will make them take advantage of you. Being disrespectful will make them loath you. Not getting to know them in the first place will spare you both.
←Rate | 07-30-2013 12:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg
←Rate | 08-17-2012 13:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moving to a new place and people will have a compulsion to say, "but, you won't know anybody there." Like that's a bad thing.
←Rate | 01-10-2014 07:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now.
←Rate | 11-06-2012 13:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't play "Hard To Get" , I play "It's Never Going To Happen"
←Rate | 12-19-2011 12:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives here.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's safe word: "Not tonight"
←Rate | 12-23-2012 04:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there's a pill available for it.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 11:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto word of the day: COLOGNE. Usage: "You think you cologne me a dollar or two?"
←Rate | 01-14-2012 13:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow you'll be able to stop hating people for their political views and go back to hating them for their personality!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 13:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon They key to forgiving somebody is to remember that sometimes, you're an a$$hole, too.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 09:48 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only good part about reuniting with an ex is that having sex with them doesn't change the number of people you've slept with.
←Rate | 03-03-2012 13:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  



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