Leeferd Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There is a difference between a porn stash and a porn 'stache.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're in the ghetto when the liquor stores have posters of Tanqueray, Black & Milds, and signs for a 2 piece chicken dinner special in the window.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked in a Quick Lube. I'm on the lift. No sign of my car. This can't be good.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:43 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon has thrown games of "Hangman" to intentionally kill that guy.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 07:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I sat down for 10 seconds with a pad and pen, I could totally write a song for Yo Gabba Gabba!
←Rate | 08-05-2010 07:44 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If smoking is bad for you, how come it cures salmon?
←Rate | 08-07-2010 17:18 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:57 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one wasted their superhero/villain potential quite like Zack Morris and his ability to Freeze Time.
←Rate | 08-10-2010 10:02 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?
←Rate | 08-11-2010 12:22 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days I just feel like the token black guy.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 07:31 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wonder if the band that recorded the Saved By The Bell theme ever gets together once in a while just to jam.
←Rate | 08-13-2010 08:46 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The heat doesn't seem so bad when you think how hot it must be for the cook who just dripped sweat in your lunch.
←Rate | 08-13-2010 08:50 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If fire escapes were replaced with waterslides people would use them a lot more.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 21:19 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon NFL preseason games are like Cinemax porn. If you haven't seen the real thing in seven months, it gets the job done.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 21:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being out of 3G range is like traveling back to an older, friendlier America. Cornfields and songbirds. Churches and farm stands. Also, meth.
←Rate | 08-28-2010 13:53 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's pretty hard not to scratch when you're playing pocket pool.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 06:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a statute of limitations on how long a person gets to blame their crappy childhood for their shortcomings.
←Rate | 09-07-2010 08:46 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon need advice on how to make a paper cut to the jugular look like an accident.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 21:47 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear gas station owners, instead of selling condoms and novelty items in your restrooms, how about you sell toilet paper that doesn't make your butthole bleed? Just a thought.
←Rate | 10-11-2010 08:35 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's word of advice: Never take a muscle relaxer if you've got the trots.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 08:38 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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