flinnie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I can't seem to find Funkytown on Google Maps.
←Rate | 05-18-2012 08:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people who need firecracker safety tips aren't the people who read firecracker safety tips.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 06:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon As far as I can tell, the only thing ghosts do is set up obstacle courses when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee
←Rate | 07-07-2012 10:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I was a cab driver I'd yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're the type of neighbor that likes to scream and yell till 3am, then I'll be the type of neighbor to mow at 6am!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 08:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn't be telling you this"
←Rate | 11-19-2012 06:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought when people lie to me their pants were supposed to catch on fire. Turns out that's a lie also. Trust no one.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 05:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
←Rate | 02-12-2014 04:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon This world is not going to make any real progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."
←Rate | 04-09-2011 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do #26: Stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
←Rate | 07-14-2015 22:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go to the train station and make eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it it while yelling "I LOVE YOU!"
←Rate | 03-06-2013 07:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that people who start a sentence with, "I know it's none of my business," never leave it at that.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People will stop making small talk with you if you simply wear clown makeup whenever you're out in public.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 06:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just won my 143rd straight dance off against that Walmart greeter.
←Rate | 01-12-2013 08:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 05:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out
←Rate | 05-03-2011 12:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't remember if the toilet water was blue or not before I sat down, so there's a chance I'm magical.
←Rate | 09-21-2011 20:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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