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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 4 of 14
As a child, I used to play with an imaginary man who lived in a well. He'd be all, "Please, I'm not imaginary!" and I'd just laugh and laugh
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09-27-2014 15:34 by
SEAN
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
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09-27-2014 15:47 by
SEAN
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I'm starting to think the Jackson family might have some problems.
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07-30-2012 16:18 by
SEAN
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Its taken me 20 some odd years to figure out who was the favorite child, until I went to my moms basement last week and found a box labled Sean's bath toys- It was a radio and toaster..
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05-06-2011 08:12 by
SEAN
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One thing you always pay full price for is other peoples mistakes...
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08-28-2012 08:13 by
SEAN
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The guy who invented "Take Your Child To Work Day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work.
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05-15-2012 11:17 by
SEAN
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When talking with a woman in her 30s, it's super important to always pretend to be shocked when she tells you she's in her 30s.
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04-02-2012 16:30 by
SEAN
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Just watched Jersey Shore for 5 minutes and now I realize why we have to do things like write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.
121
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02-04-2012 08:37 by
SEAN
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Calling "shotgun" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you.
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03-02-2012 10:22 by
SEAN
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It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
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05-25-2012 10:38 by
SEAN
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Sorry, but your kids don't look adorable when they lose their teeth, they look like tiny homeless people.
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04-12-2013 11:12 by
SEAN
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0
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I just accidentally sat through the commercials of a show recorded on my DVR. Every time I do that, a part of me dies.
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03-14-2011 15:41 by
SEAN
Comments (
1
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I can't help but feel important when someone says there's a special place in hell for people like me.
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02-05-2013 08:43 by
SEAN
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Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux.
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08-27-2012 11:40 by
SEAN
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The mirrors in my house have been pretty sarcastic lately.
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11-28-2012 16:26 by
SEAN
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Two things you should never do to a woman is lie to them and be completely honest with them.
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01-11-2013 11:38 by
SEAN
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So, you're telling me my credit score should have three digits?
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12-08-2012 09:57 by
SEAN
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To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts.
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08-21-2012 15:44 by
SEAN
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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
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06-13-2013 09:10 by
SEAN
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Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn't have borrowed all that money.
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01-06-2014 16:54 by
SEAN
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