Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon They’re gathering information by going through our trash. Learning. Plotting. Raccoons haven’t forgotten that we used to wear them as hats.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: Wanna put on our capes and our undies over our pants and go stand on top of a building?
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a total mood killer when you go in the bathroom after your girlfriend and realize she forgot to flush!
←Rate | 10-25-2010 20:02 by Nunthewizr Comments (2)  


   messageicon Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It's only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You'll be just fine.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:03 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You may think I'm dumb but you over estimate me.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 21:44 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realized I’ve never seen gloves in someone’s glove compartment, and now nothing makes sense anymore
←Rate | 09-25-2014 12:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you get that one idiot that pollutes your entire post?
←Rate | 03-19-2012 17:17 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 18:29 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men - Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. We don't want you to lose that ability... we want her to.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's say you were to date someone for a few months and then they told you that they were actually " married". Is that considered good news or bad news?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 10:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got an anxiety attack when I first heard DC was shutting down. Then I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it wasn’t the comic books.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 18:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long are we gonna joke about the government shutting down and pretend like Skynet didn’t just go online?
←Rate | 10-13-2013 18:32 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wishing I was still in Grade School:( Miss taking naps in the middle of the day, snack time and recess. The part I miss the most is when you were bad, that hot middle aged Teacher spanked you with her wooden paddle.
←Rate | 03-18-2010 07:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder how that one single black hair got all the way up there on your shower wall?
←Rate | 10-25-2010 20:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on me. Wait no, it’s shame on you. I think. Anyways, next time I’m gonna stab you.......... a lot.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:45 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're the new guy at a Chinese restaurant are you considered the Lo Mein on the totem pole?
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon snaxting a thing? Like texting each other pictures of your snacks? Because I kind of think I'd be good at that.
←Rate | 08-07-2013 21:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cant think of a single life situation that cannot be improved by wearing tear away pants.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:55 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love babies wearing sunglasses. They are like little tiny, blind jazz musicians.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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