Mike Funny Status Messages

   is hoping for some Salem style mayhem before having to sit through another Harry Potter snorefest.....Gandalf still owes me 8 bucks for the last one.

   anyone who says it's as easy as taking candy from a baby, has never tried taking candy from a baby!

   wondering what would Scooby...do!

   more bars in more places.

   When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"

   I hope Manti's girlfriend likes San Diego.

   celebrating Take Your Hamster to Work Day ...

   loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.

   Do you think the fact that gorillas have big nostrils and big fingers are related in any way?

   What's the big deal with the 2 idiots that snuck in for a white house party for a couple hours? I can't turn on the news without seeing them. "W" pulled the same trick in 2000 and stayed for 8 years and he didn't get that kind of coverage!

   How the heck can people get so excited over a game that can end in a tie? Is it gratifying when you're kissing your sister as well?

   I have found that if you love life... life will love you back

   JUST ANNOUNCED: The Pope is resigning at the end of the month. Sounds a little Joe Paterno-ish to me.

   If your dog fits in your purse, send it back, it's a rat in a dog suit.

   Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?

   gearing up for hot tub season!

   Anyone want to chip in and make a counteroffer to buy back Joe Lieberman?

   Just woke up and can't go back to bed. I turn on the TV looking to maybe find something to watch. My choices are Baggage, 7 days of Sex, Sex Sent Me to the ER, The Real World:Ex-plosion, and Hannah Montana. Wondering if Miley Cyrus is staring in all of th

   Baskin Robbins called. They said, "Thanks to you, we're down to 5 flavors."

   The only way to make soccer interesting is if they could pick up the ball and throw it...