Leeferd Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Being out of 3G range is like traveling back to an older, friendlier America. Cornfields and songbirds. Churches and farm stands. Also, meth.
←Rate | 08-28-2010 13:53 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided to burn some calories this weekend so I set a fat kid on fire.
←Rate | 05-17-2010 07:45 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching his 401k descend like a drug addled hooker with vertigo.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 18:51 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog is man's best friend. In some states, they're friends with benefits.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 09:26 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's pretty hard not to scratch when you're playing pocket pool.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 06:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants the Micro Machines Man to do my eulogy.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 09:28 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:57 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting out my own sex tape. Sure, it's only duct tape, but you can use it for sex too.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 19:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw Jack B. Nimble today at the candlestick store. Don't know why he has to jump over those things! Seems too risky.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 10:09 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got a painting of David Carradine and I hung it in my closet.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 16:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon After hearing someone just ramble on and on on the phone or in person, don't you just wish they would become verbally impotent?
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:48 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If smoking is bad for you, how come it cures salmon?
←Rate | 08-07-2010 17:18 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoying deleting friends on Father's Day. I'm pretending I'm disowning my children.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 07:18 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've seen as many smart people today as Stevie Wonder has.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 13:25 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:40 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Weebonics"- The adorable chatter of a toddler.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 08:24 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon John Mellencamp was a visionary because he knew that Cougar in 2010 would have a very different meaning
←Rate | 07-18-2010 11:00 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm good at reading between the lines when I'm doing cocaine off of a Kindle™.
←Rate | 05-30-2010 21:24 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes more businesses would check their signs for mistakes. There is a HUGE difference in "Closed for remodeling" and " Closed for remolding."
←Rate | 06-09-2010 12:04 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your wife or girlfriend forces you to carry a "man bag", it's official: you've been "pursey whipped."
←Rate | 03-30-2010 14:12 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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