JAB Funny Status Messages

   It's national turkey club sandwich Friday. . .

   Duct tape can't fix stupid Hillary Clinton supporters, but it can muffle the sound.

   To my stalker, while you're in my neighborhood, can you deliver me a pizza. . .

   Aaa the economy. The only people doing good is some black guy, his wife, two daughters.. and they live in a big white house they don't belong in. . .

   And in the news today. Keith Richards is not dead yet. . .

   Just when I got the best place to hide a body, I forgot who I lent my shovel. . .

   No one WANTS to name one thing Obama has done. Ok I will, he's done no good. . .

   Any single women looking to sexually abuse a grown man, asking for a friend. . .

   Once upon a time a man was told to go f#ck himself and he lived happily ever after. . .

   Want to keep your man from cheating on you, give him more BJs and make him more sandwiches and reduce nagging by 100%

   Ok straight up, ladies. I love and respect all of you, but you all know how you can be when you're PMS'n. Do we really want a woman for president. I rest my case ! ! !

   To any of my single Lady friends, if your wish to have me naked for Christmas, private message me. Thanks.

   She wants to go steady she says, it will be great she said. Until she said, tell me your pass words. Over my dead body I said. . .

   You know how to pi$$ a liberal off. Make sense. . .

   I remember back in the 70's when Yoga was called Twister. . .

   Here's another way to pi$$ off a liberal.. tell them to obey the immigration laws. . .

   To any American who wants a better life, leave the country, denounce your US citizenship and come back as an illegal immigrant. . .

   Can someone please post a picture of your breakfast for me.. to encourage me to get to make my own. . .

   A bucket of ice water is no challenge. Now, a bucket of s#it from a portajohn is a challenge. . .

   I was going to moving to Russia if Hillary won the election. . .