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flinnie Funny Status Messages
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It would be fun to replace every EXIT sign in the world with ones that said ESCAPE. Also, they should flicker ominously
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03-03-2012 06:50 by
flinnie
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Hey Kermit, there aren't that many songs about rainbows.
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03-03-2012 06:43 by
flinnie
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No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you.
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03-02-2012 05:14 by
flinnie
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To pay for gas, I'm selling tickets that allow people to get lost in my eyes for 15 minutes.
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03-02-2012 05:14 by
flinnie
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Teachers are a bad influence on our kids. For one thing, some of them are nearly 40 and still in the third grade.
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03-02-2012 05:13 by
flinnie
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February was $5 footlong month and black history month. Who is the evil genius behind that?
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03-01-2012 01:04 by
flinnie
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Proving other people wrong with your success is pretty selfish. Proving everyone else right by failing miserably shows you've got class
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03-01-2012 00:58 by
flinnie
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The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio.
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02-28-2012 10:21 by
flinnie
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I'm not actually dangerously unbalanced. At most, I'm gracefully insane. I wouldn't have it any other way
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02-28-2012 10:20 by
flinnie
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I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
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02-28-2012 10:19 by
flinnie
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I predict you'll be seeing a lot more people using pogo sticks, thanks to these gas prices
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02-27-2012 09:03 by
flinnie
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People throw around the word "hero" too much. Use it for what it's for: a millionaire actor playing a disabled person.
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02-27-2012 09:03 by
flinnie
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As soon as women see me, they want to get in shape to impress me. So they start running.
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02-27-2012 09:02 by
flinnie
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My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
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02-26-2012 07:33 by
flinnie
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I wish I had a twin so I could have every other day off of work.
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02-26-2012 07:32 by
flinnie
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Its original title was "Everybody Loves Raymond, except Neil Daughtery, the convenience store clerk He Stabbed in 1982."
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02-26-2012 07:31 by
flinnie
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The phrase, "Don't take this the wrong way" has a zero percent success rate.
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02-26-2012 07:30 by
flinnie
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Doing my best to, as the kids say: "keep it real." Or some such thing
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02-25-2012 07:07 by
flinnie
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Hamburger Helper can only help the hamburger that wants help.
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02-25-2012 07:06 by
flinnie
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Can't wait to see "The Lorax"! Finally, a movie answers the age old question: What if Wilford Brimley was orange?
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02-25-2012 07:06 by
flinnie
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