flinnie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I shaved my chest hair into a Superman "S". Ironically, I feel completely powerless and will probably endure a humiliating beatdown
←Rate | 03-10-2012 05:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see fire truck rushing somewhere in the rain, I'm confused as to how the sky didn't already do the job.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 05:29 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Can't shake this headache. Perhaps the shaking isn't helping
←Rate | 03-09-2012 08:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Online jokes have really suffered in this ecomedy. (exhibit A)
←Rate | 03-09-2012 08:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
←Rate | 03-09-2012 08:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people say they can't do something because their hands are full I always hope their hands are full of twinkies.
←Rate | 03-08-2012 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
←Rate | 03-08-2012 05:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never make fun of kids for having imaginary friends because my imaginary dad would say "Knock if off".
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it a dog finds great joy sticking his head out of a car going 55mph, but if you blow in his face he'll try and kill you
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun way to freak out new parents on Facebook is to change your name to their baby's name & tag yourself in all of their baby's pictures.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never fails. Always behind the person filling out a mortgage at the ATM machine
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever wants to hear monster mash this time of year
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many kids don't know what it's like to enjoy a book the old-fashioned way (watching the movie version on VHS the night before a test).
←Rate | 03-06-2012 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is.
←Rate | 03-06-2012 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A baggage carousel is the least fun carousel ever.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 04:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how sometimes you accidentally drop food on the floor and eat it anyways? I just did that with soup
←Rate | 03-05-2012 04:58 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, grocery store, if you're going to play Asia's "Heat of the Moment," there *will* be spontaneous produce aisle dancing.
←Rate | 03-04-2012 05:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when you thought you'd have it all together by the time you were the age you are now?
←Rate | 03-04-2012 05:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Mama is gonna be so mad when she realizes how much drama I have saved for her.
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weird to think we're just fifteen years away from Snooki being a grandmother
←Rate | 03-03-2012 06:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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