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Facebook was the most searched term on Google last month. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn't be using the internet.
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07-18-2011 17:24 by
flinnie
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When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough.
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05-12-2013 07:32 by
flinnie
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Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it's time and getting to know each one of us personally.
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11-23-2012 08:35 by
flinnie
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I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
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04-23-2014 05:27 by
flinnie
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n't it interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
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04-15-2014 05:30 by
flinnie
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Before you get married try walking with your partner through IKEA. If you don't end up in an argument, you're good to go.
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09-05-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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I spent most of my childhood terrified that the rhythm was going to get me.
108
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05-13-2012 08:38 by
flinnie
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If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple 'Thank you.' is all I need! Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business!
142
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12-30-2012 08:22 by
flinnie
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the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
125
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06-16-2011 05:53 by
flinnie
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I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that's my stuff!"?
119
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03-06-2013 07:06 by
flinnie
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Hey skinny guy having a Greek yogurt and Vitamin Water for lunch. I'd come punch you in the face but I don't want my fries to get cold
102
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04-07-2012 08:31 by
flinnie
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Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I'm getting tired of running and he's catching up to me
102
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12-19-2011 14:01 by
flinnie
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if I ever win the lottery the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a priest, a rabbi and a minister to walk into bars with me
102
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03-28-2011 05:37 by
flinnie
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I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them..
85
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12-30-2011 08:54 by
flinnie
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How to Stop Cyber Bullying: 1. Close your laptop 2. You Win!!
85
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08-04-2011 03:50 by
flinnie
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Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
68
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01-26-2013 13:07 by
flinnie
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I invented four new karate moves while trying to get an automatic paper towel dispenser to work
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01-01-2012 04:50 by
flinnie
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It's always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
51
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07-11-2014 05:17 by
flinnie
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People who say "No, and here's why..." need to realize that we stopped listening after the "no" part.
34
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03-22-2012 11:11 by
flinnie
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Hey Subway, just make everything 5 dollars forever and shut the hell up.
130
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10-31-2011 05:28 by
flinnie
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