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When you were a kid, your biggest decision was "Duck Hunt or Mario Bros."
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06-01-2010 22:32 by
Joser
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If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore
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04-15-2010 23:26 by
Joser
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there are more important things in life than money. The trouble is, they all cost money.
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07-07-2010 17:51 by
Joser
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After doing some research, It turns out that not EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting. It was just this one guy
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05-17-2010 09:51 by
Joser
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Men: if your woman makes you sleep on the couch, use the cushions to build an awesome fort and then hang a "no girls allowed" sign.
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06-28-2010 21:22 by
Joser
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The best part of being me is that I'm not you...
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04-15-2010 23:16 by
Joser
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When you put 'aspiring' in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I'm unemployed.
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04-25-2010 13:22 by
Joser
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With great power comes a great electric bill...
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05-25-2010 18:25 by
Joser
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Ed Hardy makes condoms now? Fine by me. I think we can all agree that anybody who buys one probably shouldn't breed.
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05-26-2010 14:23 by
Joser
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A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
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05-21-2010 18:56 by
Joser
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Dear Pope, Religion and birth control are more compatible than you may think. Every time a condom breaks, someone learns to pray.
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07-13-2010 18:09 by
Joser
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When I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please dont ask me if I want a tour.
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06-23-2010 18:20 by
Joser
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I think sharks eat people just to get on tv.
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07-13-2010 18:08 by
Joser
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I think video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives...
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04-22-2010 19:48 by
Joser
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If I just fly to Arizona without ID and let them deport me to Mexico, would it be cheaper than if I flew directly there?
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04-27-2010 19:03 by
Joser
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Does "I caught myself singing a Justin Beiber song" go at the beginning or the end of a suicide note?
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04-29-2010 23:09 by
Joser
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It's a shame how so many of you have such nice, expensive, in many cases even brand new cars and yet the turn signals don't seem to work.
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05-11-2010 17:36 by
Joser
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It's so adorable when my Mom calls and asks me for my "email number."
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06-26-2010 14:30 by
Joser
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Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
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07-03-2010 14:39 by
Joser
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it just me or does orange juice taste funny without vodka?
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04-19-2010 22:06 by
Joser
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