Me Funny Status Messages

   California is suspending executions due to lethal drug shortage. Someone should talk to Texas. I bet they're storing their surplus in caves.

   salutes Dr. Seuss, who died today in 1991. Cats in hats, green eggs, Whoville? Thanks for the inspiration to take drugs!

   To the brave souls who lost their lives tragically 9 years ago today.. may you never be forgotten R.I.P

   Thinks facebook has ruined school reunions.. now everyone knows your full of sh*t before you get there..

   wonders why everyone on facebook looks like they had a stroke I mean seriously that facial expression is stupid, and holding up the peace sign doesnt make you look any smarter.

   Condoms are like newspapers....sure they are filled with good stuff today but you sure don't want them around tomorrow...

   just heard Miley Cyrus is releasing a new song and dedicating it to Perez Hilton...it's called "Party In The Cell Block A"......

   This years strawberry picking contest has been won by a woman with NO legs !!!.............Jammy c*nt.

   Why get stuck with the whole pig just for a little sausage?

   what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalotapuss!

   gonna party like it's 1929.

   boys are like slinkies...useless but fun to watch fall down stairs

   practicing the mating rituals of protuberant air biscuits