Leeferd Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon always beats Edward Scissorhands in rock-paper-scissors.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 16:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "Vampire In Brooklyn" had been a bigger hit, we could have all lived the rest of our lives without these damn "Twilight" movies .
←Rate | 06-24-2010 08:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:40 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon It'll be a while before hearing a commentator say: "Tiger Woods struggles to come from behind" doesn't make me giggle.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoying deleting friends on Father's Day. I'm pretending I'm disowning my children.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 07:18 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way my luck runs, if I were hanging on to the side of a cliff for dear life, the person reaching down to pull me up would be a leper.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 08:23 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a stalker, I'm just bad with goodbyes.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 07:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does PETA think all animals die a natural death, with hospice care, surrounded by family keeping vigil until passing quietly into the night?
←Rate | 06-10-2010 07:15 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes more businesses would check their signs for mistakes. There is a HUGE difference in "Closed for remodeling" and " Closed for remolding."
←Rate | 06-09-2010 12:04 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do all Mexican restaurants serve Pepsi and not Coke?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know you're getting old when you no longer buy cereal for the prize but for the fiber content.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 08:39 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Weebonics"- The adorable chatter of a toddler.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 08:24 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that whenever I'm on vacation I can ALWAYS find a Law & Order marathon on TNT?
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:34 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm good at reading between the lines when I'm doing cocaine off of a Kindle™.
←Rate | 05-30-2010 21:24 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This Cold Medicine Lasts 8 Hours" is the "I Promise I'll Pull Out, Baby" of the pharmaceutical industry.
←Rate | 05-27-2010 14:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon In every Red Lobster tank, there's one lobster who says: "You guys are so paranoid! It's great here! I love the view!"
←Rate | 05-27-2010 14:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get directions from the illiterate. "Turn left on Cave" is actually, "turn left on C Ave."
←Rate | 05-27-2010 12:35 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Scent" is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 13:54 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've gotta come clean. That's why I masturbate with Purell®.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 08:47 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got a painting of David Carradine and I hung it in my closet.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 16:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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