Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]
3

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 3

   messageicon Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 01:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Threatening Americans by saying there'll be "a taco truck on every corner" is like threatening The Kardashians' with more magazine covers.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 13:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching an Olympian biting his gold medal he just won while I bite the wine cork I just pulled out with my teeth.
←Rate | 08-14-2016 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn't work here.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 13:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money aside, what do you wish you had more of?All the money that you've pushed to the side
←Rate | 06-28-2016 13:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ate a salad when I could've eaten a cheeseburger. Where's my reward? I should get an award, right? Maybe a cheeseburger.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 16:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only brush the teeth that people can see...which is none, because smiling is a sign of weakness.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 05:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 05:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Grant but can he look over my investment portfolio for me
←Rate | 05-27-2016 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing screams I need to get laid like screaming I need to get laid!
←Rate | 05-09-2016 12:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see someone walking around with a selfie stick, I always wonder what happened for them to just give up on life like that.
←Rate | 03-28-2016 14:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is "Will you marry me?"
←Rate | 03-24-2016 01:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I've dissected our earlier conversation and I think I might be mad at you.” - WOMEN
←Rate | 02-14-2016 11:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the good old days before social media when adults acted like four year olds in private.
←Rate | 01-18-2016 12:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me stop you right there. You just made me think of a status.
←Rate | 01-16-2016 12:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Could you imagine knowing someone interesting enough to actually want to talk on the phone? Me neither.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 09:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have as much sex as possible while you're still single. You can abstain when you get married.
←Rate | 12-10-2015 10:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They called it boxing because fisting was already taken.
←Rate | 12-02-2015 12:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Adele. Will I murder you? Will I buy you a puppy? You never know.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone else gonna run for President or is this all we have?
←Rate | 11-28-2015 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


3

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left