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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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Establish dominance by waiting until your wife serves the turkey and then tell her you already ate.
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11-22-2018 11:01 by
Kisstopher707
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I talk a lot about sex for someone who doesn’t remember it.
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11-22-2018 10:51 by
Kisstopher707
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Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.
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11-22-2018 07:46 by
Kisstopher707
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Maybe I talk to myself because I'm my own therapist
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11-22-2018 07:45 by
Kisstopher707
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People are so quick to think you smoke when they see a lighter in your room. Did you stop to think for a second that maybe, just maybe I use it to heat up heroin in my teaspoon Abigail?
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10-29-2018 13:03 by
Kisstopher707
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well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
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10-18-2018 11:42 by
Kisstopher707
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Business in the front, party in the back! Linda’s Accounting And Brothel Services.
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10-12-2018 05:44 by
Kisstopher707
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Instead of testing products on animals, how about testing on people who don’t say thank you after you hold the door open for them. Just a suggestion.
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09-28-2018 13:35 by
Kisstopher707
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Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
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09-20-2018 12:42 by
Kisstopher707
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I am a husband. Hear me apologise for something I did in my wife's dream.
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09-17-2018 02:21 by
Kisstopher707
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I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
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09-01-2018 06:13 by
Kisstopher707
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I was feeling tough and manly until I realized the spider was on the inside of the window.
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08-31-2018 08:16 by
Kisstopher707
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Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
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08-09-2018 10:05 by
Kisstopher707
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I reserve anal sex for special occasions. First dates for example.
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08-02-2018 08:38 by
Kisstopher707
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I’m suffering complications following my birth
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08-01-2018 01:46 by
Kisstopher707
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I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'll even remove your duct tape.
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07-27-2018 12:18 by
Kisstopher707
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I sexually identify as please stop talking to me.
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07-05-2018 01:33 by
Kisstopher707
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Does Facebook realize when they put us in Facebook jail, they're separating us from our families?
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07-03-2018 00:40 by
Kisstopher707
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My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
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06-28-2018 05:19 by
Kisstopher707
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Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
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06-28-2018 02:11 by
Kisstopher707
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