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Czovczov Funny Status Messages
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Remember this weekend to help your girl relax by telling her she "needs to relax."
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10-03-2015 07:40 by
Czovczov
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Negative people and stupid people should be tape recorded and forced to listen to their own bullsh*t.
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09-29-2015 12:02 by
Czovczov
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"Please make me happy" I whisper to my prescription.
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09-25-2015 12:54 by
Czovczov
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My safe word is yourhusbandishome.
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09-24-2015 10:27 by
Czovczov
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How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
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09-19-2015 08:38 by
Czovczov
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Don’t trust everything you see. Even vodka can look like water.
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09-08-2015 00:21 by
Czovczov
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I came, I saw, I got jiggy with it, I'm now discussing my options with a court appointed attorney.
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09-06-2015 08:47 by
Czovczov
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When reality comes knocking, I make tequila answers the door.
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09-01-2015 14:34 by
Czovczov
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You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
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08-31-2015 01:58 by
Czovczov
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I like to peel all of the labels off of my pill bottles and just write "surprise me" on them.
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08-26-2015 02:11 by
Czovczov
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I'm sorry I'm so emotional bro. It came with these skinny jeans and selfie stick.
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08-25-2015 13:58 by
Czovczov
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I would describe my dancing style as “Oh my god, is he having a seizure?”
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08-16-2015 10:09 by
Czovczov
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I'm getting really tired of having to remind my wife she's happily married.
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08-07-2015 01:44 by
Czovczov
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I once dated a girl who didn't need me to open jars for her. It was pretty convenient but the handjobs were crippling.
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07-15-2015 13:31 by
Czovczov
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Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
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07-02-2015 14:55 by
Czovczov
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The best thing about being an Atheist is that no one watches you masturbate, unless you want them to.
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06-28-2015 11:29 by
Czovczov
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When a mosquito bites you and it dies of alcohol poisoning you're doing something right
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06-27-2015 14:09 by
Czovczov
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I can't tell what's currently doing worse, my love life or my bank account
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06-27-2015 12:47 by
Czovczov
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You had me at "this is a bad idea"
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06-27-2015 12:10 by
Czovczov
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Talk to your kids about drugs. Always stay informed about what drug is cool. You don't wanna be a nerd parent.
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06-27-2015 11:58 by
Czovczov
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