Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
←Rate | 07-12-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its already too late for some of you ladies to find Mr Right and I would advise you to just settle for Mr. What's Left or you will die alone.
←Rate | 07-15-2013 15:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kinda woman has more sex swings than mood swings.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 02:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey douchebag. Women like men with an accent, not an Axe scent
←Rate | 07-17-2013 12:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pets are so easy to love. They are honest and react to kindness without wanting to know what's in your bank. Humans could take a lesson.
←Rate | 07-18-2013 14:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
←Rate | 07-22-2013 13:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't litter your chaos and drama all over other people's lives.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stay in that position I just got a Facebook Notification.
←Rate | 07-26-2013 02:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Internet Explorer has the balls to ask you to set it as your default browser, don’t tell me that you don’t have the guts to ask her out.
←Rate | 07-30-2013 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; If your fiancé designs her own engagement ring, prepare for a life of sex on your birthday and holidays only.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a Facebook friend deleted and blocked.
←Rate | 08-13-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We used to watch the news to find out the truth. If you're looking for the truth now, the last thing you'd want to watch is the news.
←Rate | 08-18-2013 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes girl you can cook, give great head, have a great sense of fashion, are kind, beautiful, sexy, and have a great smile but can you twerk?
←Rate | 08-19-2013 12:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 01:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me put you in a better mood" - vodka
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like her, tell her. Don't friendzone yourself. Have some balls. Be a man.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon twerking just shaking your ass? Why did we need a new word? Ass-shaking has served us well for centuries.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag or anything, but my bank balance is over $100k (the k is silent).
←Rate | 08-28-2013 01:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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