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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 3 of 14
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing him.
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05-31-2013 15:29 by
SEAN
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0
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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
90
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08-14-2012 15:46 by
SEAN
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I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back.
45
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09-27-2014 15:32 by
SEAN
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0
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Apparently it is frowned upon to walk into a bank yelling “It's my Money and I want it now!” Thanks a lot J.G Wentworth
73
13
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01-08-2011 12:36 by
SEAN
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0
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Piñatas are a great way to show kids that using assault with a deadly weapon is a fun way to get what they want.
73
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08-08-2012 15:28 by
SEAN
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My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
73
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11-06-2012 14:18 by
SEAN
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0
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Why no, stranger, I CAN'T believe how early it gets dark now despite the fact this phenomena has occurred every single year of my existence.
73
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11-06-2012 14:20 by
SEAN
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0
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I've never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I'm prepared.
129
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07-11-2012 09:55 by
SEAN
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0
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Unless you've figured out how to air condition your yard, don't invite me to your June or July outdoor weddings.
140
25
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05-31-2012 10:23 by
SEAN
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0
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A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.
112
20
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03-05-2012 17:23 by
SEAN
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1
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I wish I was in a gang so I knew what do to with my hands in pictures.
84
15
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10-17-2012 14:20 by
SEAN
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0
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My divorce judge told me I needed to supply my xwife with a vehicle, I just UPSD'd her a broom
84
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04-20-2011 14:30 by
SEAN
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0
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One thing parenting has taught me- telling a kid they're tired is like telling a drunk person they're drunk. Anger and denial follows
28
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11-06-2014 17:00 by
SEAN
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The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke and nobody laughs.
28
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02-05-2013 08:46 by
SEAN
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0
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If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff.
123
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12-16-2011 11:06 by
SEAN
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0
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If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
95
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11-03-2011 10:54 by
SEAN
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0
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Wanna see new features on your TV that you never knew existed? Let a baby play with the remote for about 12 seconds.
95
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10-15-2012 07:56 by
SEAN
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0
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I just got a new Easy-Bake Oven for the blanket fort, don't tell me how to impress a woman.
67
12
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06-13-2012 08:33 by
SEAN
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Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
117
21
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09-19-2012 16:49 by
SEAN
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0
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GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your girlfriend with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
117
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02-08-2011 11:47 by
SEAN
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