Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The point in making a point is to actually make a point,
←Rate | 01-12-2017 09:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."
←Rate | 02-18-2017 14:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess all the leftover Thanksgiving dinner stuff is gone that was in the fridge. I'm telling everyone I quit cold turkey.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 07:17 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women on fb. They "Poke" you a hundred times a day. Then they find Mr. Perfect for the millionth time and then disappear...until the big breakup a week later...then the Pokes start up again. DELETE!
←Rate | 01-20-2012 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here are my 4 favorite quotes: " " " "
←Rate | 01-28-2013 07:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced. Some peoples' brains are still on dial-up.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 19:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook Murphy's Law: Profile photo with two women. It's never the attractive one's timeline.
←Rate | 11-23-2015 15:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I picked up a Chinese girl last night at a New Year Celebration...we ended up at my place and things got pretty hot. She asked what I wanted, so I said, "69." She said, "You want Beef with Broccoli?"
←Rate | 02-10-2013 09:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a job at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I start tomorrow. In the Beyond department.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never understand when people say that the Mona Lisa was Leonardo da Vinci's best work. He was pretty damned good in the Titanic if you ask me.
←Rate | 02-11-2014 09:09 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicky Minaj is like Tang. She's dry, orange, and nobody actually likes her.
←Rate | 01-22-2013 10:38 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I wanna go to my high school reunion! There's nothing I'd rather do than waste hundreds of dollars and precious vacation days, just to hang with a bunch of people I couldn't stand. And still can't.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 16:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people suffered in their youth which helped them succeed later in life. For example, if Bill Gates had gotten l@id in high school, there would have been no Microsoft.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 20:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color and we have no idea what mauve is.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 16:39 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way I see it, is if there were no men in the world, the planet would be filled with nothing but happy fat women. And a shortage of batteries.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 08:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you use expressions such as: "My hubby ate four of the cupcakes I made...the little piggy!" Please delete from your friends list.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 07:16 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon A rhinoceros walks into a bar wearing a top hat and orders six Jägerbombs and...you should be ashamed of yourself for expecting a punchline. It's obvious this rhinoceros needs help.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 11:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want to gauge how dumb people are these days? No, don't look at Dept. of Education stats, SAT scores or even IQ's. Listen closely to someone ahead of you at a fast food drive thru place an order.
←Rate | 02-01-2017 10:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored. Let's see, I'll take a pic of me with my dog, then tag it with 97 facebook friends, then watch 'em go cuckoo.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon MY Fantasy Football thing is about the Cheerleaders.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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