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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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If you're not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you're probably boring.
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10-13-2014 01:58 by
Kisstopher707
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It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
51
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04-23-2014 01:05 by
Kisstopher707
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My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
34
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06-06-2013 12:40 by
Kisstopher707
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Dear New Year New Me People; You don't have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
34
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12-27-2014 07:32 by
Kisstopher707
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Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
34
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05-13-2014 00:58 by
Kisstopher707
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I have decided to host the Oscars
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12-09-2018 09:12 by
Kisstopher707
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Only resort to violence if necessary like if a coworker says "another day in paradise".
17
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03-04-2019 12:31 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
17
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09-01-2018 06:13 by
Kisstopher707
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All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
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05-31-2013 08:15 by
Kisstopher707
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Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.
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11-06-2013 06:57 by
Kisstopher707
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You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
45
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10-22-2014 13:30 by
Kisstopher707
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Madonna and Johnny Depp seem completely unaware they aren't British
45
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02-27-2014 07:47 by
Kisstopher707
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Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
56
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11-15-2014 00:28 by
Kisstopher707
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I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.
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11-26-2013 02:35 by
Kisstopher707
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I miss the good old days before social media when adults acted like four year olds in private.
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01-18-2016 12:36 by
Kisstopher707
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Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.
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08-07-2014 10:45 by
Kisstopher707
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Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid.
39
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01-18-2017 12:50 by
Kisstopher707
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I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
50
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06-23-2016 05:39 by
Kisstopher707
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I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
61
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03-28-2015 13:06 by
Kisstopher707
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Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
66
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01-27-2015 12:39 by
Kisstopher707
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