Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3 of 5192

   messageicon So proud of myself for being healthy & buying vegetables that are just gonna sit at the bottom of my fridge until they go bad.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve never met a nap I didn’t like.
←Rate | 04-15-2018 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 13:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of making me happy. Someone else needs to take a turn.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 02:17 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don’t remember the last time I knew what I was doing.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 06:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't take it personal. I gave up on people in general years ago.
←Rate | 04-20-2018 02:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don’t ask me for advice about life because I will accidentally screw up yours too.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can act my age just fine… until you say ~ hormone
←Rate | 04-20-2018 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs an alarm clock? Giving mine away because my bladder is set permanently for 5:30AM.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stopped talking to myself because it's too much social stimulation
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
←Rate | 03-26-2018 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a sneaking suspicion that Elton John couldn’t have cared less about how tight Susie wore her dresses.
←Rate | 03-22-2018 16:28 by @Madlogic Comments (4)  


   messageicon Anyone know how Pink's parents are named? I am assuming Red and White.
←Rate | 03-06-2018 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon how do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
←Rate | 03-30-2018 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if the Earth is flat, then my belly is too.
←Rate | 03-21-2018 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
←Rate | 04-17-2018 13:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
←Rate | 03-24-2018 00:59 by Guess.Who Comments (2)  


   messageicon If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
←Rate | 03-27-2018 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
←Rate | 04-10-2018 05:43 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left