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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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So proud of myself for being healthy & buying vegetables that are just gonna sit at the bottom of my fridge until they go bad.
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04-17-2018 13:16
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I’ve never met a nap I didn’t like.
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04-15-2018 11:52
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One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
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04-23-2018 13:33
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I'm tired of making me happy. Someone else needs to take a turn.
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04-16-2018 02:17
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I don’t remember the last time I knew what I was doing.
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04-09-2018 06:26
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Don't take it personal. I gave up on people in general years ago.
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04-20-2018 02:37
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Please don’t ask me for advice about life because I will accidentally screw up yours too.
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04-17-2018 12:59 by
Kisstopher707
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I can act my age just fine… until you say ~ hormone
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04-20-2018 12:50
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Who needs an alarm clock? Giving mine away because my bladder is set permanently for 5:30AM.
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04-22-2018 20:30
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I stopped talking to myself because it's too much social stimulation
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04-22-2018 20:33
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Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
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03-26-2018 14:55
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I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
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04-08-2018 13:55 by
Kisstopher707
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I have a sneaking suspicion that Elton John couldn’t have cared less about how tight Susie wore her dresses.
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03-22-2018 16:28 by
@Madlogic
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Anyone know how Pink's parents are named? I am assuming Red and White.
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03-06-2018 12:12
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how do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
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03-30-2018 14:50
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if the Earth is flat, then my belly is too.
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03-21-2018 16:24
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a married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
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04-17-2018 13:36 by
Eddy
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The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
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03-24-2018 00:59 by
Guess.Who
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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
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03-27-2018 20:28
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At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
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04-10-2018 05:43
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