Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 10:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
←Rate | 08-16-2017 14:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 02:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 07:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
←Rate | 09-10-2017 04:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 01:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 08:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
←Rate | 11-03-2014 06:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 08:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you're probably boring.
←Rate | 10-13-2014 01:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 01:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
←Rate | 05-13-2014 00:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear New Year New Me People; You don't have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
←Rate | 09-01-2018 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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