Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon When filling out Hello My Name Is name tags, I always put a question mark after my name
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't tell lies, just fiction short stories
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attn BP: When this is all over, will the Gulf of Mexico be regular, midgrade or premium?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Procrastination is like masturbation; it's a whole lotta fun until you realize you just screwed yourself.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, I'd like to remind you that trying to play "hard to get" doesn't work when you're already "hard to want".
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filing a BP Damage Claims. Due to the Gulf disaster, instead of a vacation at the beach, we're going to visit my in-laws...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that when you get your girlfriend pregnant, everyone rubs her belly saying "congratulations"... but nobody rubs your d*ck and says "good job?"
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon I wish God wouldn't have hidden all of my talents so well...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Didn't lock my car last night and there was a homeless guy asleep in it this morning.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will too much skin lightening cream turn you invisible?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about being 6' 1" is that no one will see my bald patch... Unless you're using Google Earth...
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just googled cleveland & google said no matches found the city has disappeared
←Rate | 07-13-2010 20:02 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon My neighbor just got one of those expensive new invisible fences. What a dumb@ss, I can still see him.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 20:00 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what would make this Pina Colada better? Cancun.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 20:00 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Neighbors have a leash on their tree, but they let the dog run free. Poor tree
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon One hair on your head is not enough...but one hair in your food is too much.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude, if you really want Jessie's girl, find out her name.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starting a sentence with "I don't want to sound creepy but" doesn't de-creepify the rest of the sentence.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser Comments (0)  



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