Eddy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon rubix cube: the original fidget toy
←Rate | 06-01-2017 02:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter
←Rate | 05-07-2017 04:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I opened up this app & just keep swiping right at all the sexy pictures...I can't believe how many selfies I have stored in my pictures
←Rate | 04-25-2017 03:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon raisins....nonalcoholic box of wine
←Rate | 04-20-2017 00:10 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon been single for so long I should change my name to "Kraft"
←Rate | 03-31-2017 22:34 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon a president with sex tapes...gee, I'm glad we didn't put a Clinton in office again
←Rate | 03-25-2017 00:58 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't forget tonight we time travel without a T.A.R.D.I.S
←Rate | 03-11-2017 21:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I go to the store looking for paper towel, I feel like a BOUNTY hunter
←Rate | 03-09-2017 20:42 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon irony...Valentine's Day is abbreviated as "VD"
←Rate | 02-14-2017 01:26 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon pro tip....today invest in buying Energizer & Duracell stocks
←Rate | 02-14-2017 00:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon IKEA is just adult LEGO sets
←Rate | 02-10-2017 22:35 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my yard is so white it got nominated for an Academy Award
←Rate | 01-07-2017 00:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wake up feeling like a golden statue....everyone else is the pigeons
←Rate | 01-04-2017 03:12 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon my new years resolution is 1680 x 1050
←Rate | 12-31-2016 20:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when couples get married they should be required to each give up 1 sock & put them together to make a pair of socks....later on if they divorce they get their sock back. "Master has given me a sock. I am free"
←Rate | 12-30-2016 22:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold now, when I turn on Netflix I call it "Netflix & get chilled"
←Rate | 12-15-2016 19:00 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's the time of year agian to get a lot of fruit cakes...now I cant wait for them to leave & go back to their own homes
←Rate | 12-11-2016 00:04 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you burn the turkey, just tell the family they're eating blackbird
←Rate | 11-24-2016 06:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pence should consider himself lucky....worse has happened with presidents at theaters
←Rate | 11-20-2016 01:50 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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