Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
flinnie Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
[
Clear
]
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
33
Next»
Search results for status messages containing 'flinnie'
:
View All Messages
Page: 2 of 33
Just got a letter from one of those traffic light cameras. No ticket; just a picture of me with the caption "Nice shirt, douche bag."
37
7
←Rate |
04-12-2011 07:54 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I'm so out of shape, I threw my back out taking a poop!
33
16
←Rate |
04-13-2011 05:39 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
For the past 20 years I've been trying to figure out how to "Stop" Collaborate" and "Listen"
53
10
←Rate |
04-13-2011 05:50 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I'd be a terrible fireman, if anyone said their roof was on fire I'd tell'em "You don't need no water, let the mutha f'er burn!"
31
23
←Rate |
04-15-2011 05:52 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
354
62
←Rate |
04-17-2011 05:50 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
i farted at work today, and a co-worker complained about the smell. Its air passing over $h!t what'd you expect it to smell like?!
50
35
←Rate |
04-18-2011 21:18 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
just read that women are smarter than men. Really?! Have you ever met a man that "fell in" the toilet in the middle of the night?
98
18
←Rate |
04-19-2011 00:36 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
If a stranger starts talking to you in an elevator, just say: "I don't want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you" that'll shut 'em up.
88
16
←Rate |
04-21-2011 02:15 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I'm pretty sure that just before I get to Walmart some mental institution drops off its patients to go shopping
134
26
←Rate |
04-25-2011 05:55 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes I text my mom just because the thought of her staring puzzled at her phone trying to find her texts is difficult to resist
23
6
←Rate |
04-28-2011 10:03 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
If, at any point, you stopped for Hammer Time, I think it is now safe to proceed
17
11
←Rate |
04-28-2011 10:05 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
Driving home today I saw a guy in a pink snuggie jogging. Sadly that's not the craziest thing I've seen in this town.
17
7
←Rate |
04-28-2011 10:07 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
When people say “I'm not getting any younger!” I wonder what other basic life concepts they just figured out
22
5
←Rate |
04-29-2011 06:03 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
the royal wedding is as close to porn for females as you're ever gonna see...except Twilight
18
13
←Rate |
04-29-2011 13:42 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out
118
21
←Rate |
05-03-2011 12:17 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
Saw an ad in the paper about making money buying abandoned self storage units. Or as I like to call it: entry level grave robbing.
12
9
←Rate |
05-08-2011 17:29 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
Dear Vanilla Ice, how does one rock a mic like a Vandal? By sacking Rome?
17
17
←Rate |
05-08-2011 17:32 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
47% of Detroit residents cannot read. No kidding, they would have read the signs welcoming them to Detroit and leave.
17
19
←Rate |
05-08-2011 17:41 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I don't consider my dog my child. My child would not be able to knock you down like Ray Lewis and crush your bones with her jaw at 9 months
14
11
←Rate |
05-11-2011 18:08 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
When I was younger, I wanted to be a famous writer like Hemingway. I got the alcoholism down, just not the hunting and suicide part
28
6
←Rate |
05-11-2011 18:12 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
33
Next»
[Search Results] [
View All Messages
]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com