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If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
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05-11-2011 22:22 by
jdpower
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"Paranormal Activity 2" - terrifying tale of suburban home that unexpectedly gets possessed by Bank of America.
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10-29-2010 13:33 by
jdpower
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A handful of Nigerian scam artists are wrecking it for all the honest Nigerians who want to wire money to us.
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10-26-2010 11:04 by
jdpower
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I could never bring myself to kill....however, I do have a list of some pretty sweet hiding spots.
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04-13-2010 00:59 by
jdpower
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Camping out for video game releases is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.
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09-14-2010 15:28 by
jdpower
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Justin Bieber is approximately the same diameter as the oil pipe in the Gulf......is anybody thinking what I'm thinking?
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06-08-2010 01:38 by
jdpower
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How awesome would it would have been if David Blaine had somehow been the first one brought up out of the mine.
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10-13-2010 00:37 by
jdpower
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Attention bullies: if you're looking for lunch money, there are tons of nerds hoarding around outside Apple Stores right now.
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06-24-2010 12:00 by
jdpower
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Getting pretty stoked for all the Facebook albums of sh!tty firework pictures I'm gonna see next week!
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06-30-2011 19:35 by
jdpower
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So we just spent $4 billion on an election about "too much spending?"
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11-04-2010 21:09 by
jdpower
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Only 9,000 more lies until Election Day.
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10-26-2010 11:28 by
jdpower
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Not to scare anyone, but we're only a decade or so away from grandmothers named Amber or Brittany.
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05-21-2010 02:15 by
jdpower
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We may lag behind the Chinese in math and science, but we are absolutely kicking their butts in the tattooed homewreckers category.
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04-13-2010 01:02 by
jdpower
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By now, Colonel Sanders has killed more people prematurely than if he were an actual military officer.
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09-22-2010 16:29 by
jdpower
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Joran van der Sloot arrested for murder? Wow! If only there were warning signs.
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06-08-2010 01:40 by
jdpower
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Megan Fox will not be acting in Transformers 3. So, no change from Transformers 1 and 2.
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05-21-2010 01:51 by
jdpower
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2
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Don't call me lazy unless you've walked a mile in my slippers
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05-11-2011 22:20 by
jdpower
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You work hard. You sacrifice. You fight injustice. You think you're making a difference.. Then you find out Snooki has a book deal.
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10-01-2010 17:37 by
jdpower
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I support precisely enough global warming to flood Jersey Shore.
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08-24-2010 18:42 by
jdpower
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Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"
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07-12-2010 01:55 by
jdpower
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